One day I was on the road, doing what serious businesspeople do taking calls while travelling. I was mid-sentence, passionately explaining something to one of my team members, when suddenly silence.
I thought maybe my airtime had finished. You know how the phone behaves when your balance hits $0.01 it just cuts you off mid-anointing. So, I quickly topped up. Called again.
Two minutes later… cut again.
At this point, I thought, “Aah, maybe my phone is now tired.” So, I restarted it like a responsible citizen of the digital age. I dialed again and boom ‘NO SERVICE’.
That’s when it hit me: it wasn’t the airtime, it wasn’t the phone… it was the network!
Ladies and gentlemen, we had officially entered the dead zone.
Welcome to Africa Where Bars Disappear Faster Than Airtime
If you’ve ever traveled across Zimbabwe or Zambia, you know this pain. One moment you have full signal five shining bars the next moment your phone is as dead as a Nokia 3310 without a battery.
You move your phone to the left: nothing.
You climb a rock: nothing.
You raise it to the heavens: still nothing.
Sometimes you even start praying, “Lord, if you can hear me, tell them to restore my signal.”
And when the network finally returns, all your missed calls, texts, and WhatsApp messages attack you at once like a flood: ping ping ping ping ping!
We’re Still Buffering in 2025
While China and the U.S. are busy testing 6G, in Africa we’re still fighting with ‘Edge’ that E that stands for Eish, no signal again!
Imagine in 2025, you still can’t make a normal call during a power cut because even the boosters are on national grid. You call someone in town, and it says, “Number not reachable,” yet the person is standing 10 meters away.
In some places, you can literally see the tower but your phone still says No Service. At this point, you realize the only “bars” working properly are the ones that sell alcohol.
Even WhatsApp Is Now a Lifesaver
We’ve reached a point where WhatsApp calls are more reliable than the actual mobile networks. When someone says, “Call me on WhatsApp,” they’re not trying to save airtime they’re trying to save the call itself.
Our mobile service providers have turned us into creative beings. We now have calling strategies:
- “Let me call when I reach the mountain.”
- “Move closer to the window.”
- “Try standing near the borehole it’s stronger there.”
We’ve become human signal towers!
But Seriously, What’s the Way Forward?
Jokes aside, network instability is becoming a real business risk.
- Sales teams can’t communicate effectively.
- Online businesses lose clients.
- Remote workers are stuck buffering in meetings.
It’s time for real competition in the telecom space we need new players, better infrastructure, and innovation that matches global standards.
Because if we keep moving like this, the rest of the world will be livestreaming in 8K while we’re still shouting, “Hello? Hello? Can you hear me now?”
Business Lesson: Connection Is Everything
Whether it’s in business or in life your network determines your net worth.
And I’m not just talking about Wi-Fi.
Always Have a Backup Plan
In business, just like in communication, you must always prepare for network failure. If your entire operation depends on one unreliable system, one power cut, one outage you’re in trouble.
Invest in Wi-Fi solutions and alternative platforms like WhatsApp,so your team can keep calling, meeting, and closing deals even when the network decides to go on leave. A good entrepreneur plans for bad signal because opportunities don’t wait for reconnection.
When the network goes down, your business shouldn’t.
By The Chartered Vendor
#NoNetwork #AfricanBusiness #FunnyButTrue #ZimProblems #ZambiaChronicles #DigitalAfrica #BusinessWithHumor #NetworkMatters #EntrepreneurshipAfrica
